We have all feared failure and experienced the pain it inflicts on us at some point in our life. I know I have!
In our culture and society today, failure’s got a bad rap. We’re quick to praise success, progress and achievement, while failure gets quickly shoved under the rug. I get it: No one likes failure because it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t look good. We just want to forget about it as soon as it happens, and move past it as quickly as possible. When we fail we feel uncomfortable, ashamed, embarrassed, and discouraged.
But WHY? Because of the disempowered story we are telling ourselves about what failure means.
In that moment our brain says something like this: “It was all a waste of time. How could I have thought that was possible? I’m just not good enough. I guess I don’t have what it takes. It won’t work. I’ll never get there…”
...And we believe it!
I’ll raise my hand to admit that I've failed a lot in the last year. I’ve failed in my marriage by being a selfish partner. I’ve failed in my business by being scared and unfocused. I’ve failed in my self care by pushing myself too hard physically and mentally. I’ve failed in friendships by making the excuses…you get the point.
But my failure has also lead to all my SUCCESS and PERSONAL GROWTH this year: My husband and I are on the same page. I know that I need to have courage and discipline to build my business. I’ve learned how to listen to my mind and body and honor what it needs. I know I can’t walk this journey alone.
What we often fail to see is that FAILURE is how we LEARN and GROW. It's teaching us what DOESN’T work, so we can learn and discover what DOES work. Failure is THE WAY to success. You can’t have one with out the other. You can’t experience success without opening up yourself to the possibility of failure.
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” - Denis Waitley
You’ve forgotten that you are greater than failure. You’ve forgotten that you are not a failure. You’ve forgotten that failure isn’t the end.
Failure exists in your life as stepping stones TO your success, development, and evolution as a human being. You must remember and believe that you are ultimately greater than your failures, and you will rise above them.
On of the most important things I could teach you is to simply be more conscious, aware, and mindful.
When you fail:
- Notice what your mind is making it mean.
- Ask what you’ve learned.
- Decide what you are going to change moving forward.
- Reframe your story around failure to empower and support you.
“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” - Henry Ford
It’s time to rewrite the story of failure in your own life and give it new meaning.
Let’s get honest with ourselves: We are human, and we will never be perfect. We will continue to fail and make mistakes. So why run yourself to the ground trying to be perfect all of the time? Why resist the truth of our imperfection?
If failure ultimately teaches us, transforms us, and leads us to true success, why not DANCE with failure? Why not embrace it, laugh with it, and make it a companion and friend? If it’s coming along the journey with us, why not try and make it a good time?
"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." - Jack Canfield
When you let the fear of failure stop you from going for what you want, you fail in a different kind of way… Which way would you rather fail?
Why not go for your dream? Why not give life your greatest shot?
Consider for a moment:
- What is actually the worst thing that could happen if I failed?
- How quickly could I recover from it?
When you look failure straight in the face, and you see the absolute worst that could happen, you realize it’s actually not that bad. You realize that you are stronger and more capable than you think.
Unless you are physically in danger, the fear of failure is often an illusion we’ve created in our minds. What we project out into the future rarely ever happens to the extent we fear it will.
When we do fail it means we showed up. It means we're doing something in the world. We have a voice. We are taking action. We are working to make a difference, have an impact, and make ourselves and the world a better place. And that is no failure to me!
Let us know in the comments below:
How have you failed recently and what did you learn from it?
What is your new definition of failure?
What success is made possible in your life by allowing yourself to fail?
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